About Erik Streed

Erik Streed

A short and convoluted history

Erik Streed was born on a chilly second of November in 1976 to Pam and Karl Streed of Minneapolis, Minnesnowta. On that fateful day President Ford would loose the general election to a peanut farmer. Some believe that Ford intended to loose the election as he did not want to be president while Erik was a child. 1980 came and then President Carter lost the general election to a man named Ron. Several people have theorized that Carter did not want to deal with the fallout of Erik entering the Minneapolis Public Schools.

It's Elementary You Foolz!

Entering kindergarden at Webster Open in Minneapolis, Erik found kindergarden not only sucked but that no one had an appreciation for his collection of wire, switches, 6V latern batteries, coils, and other assorted hardware. Feeling unloved by both students, teachers, and parents; Erik built his very first signal jammer by connecting a large surpluss Capasitor to a coil of wire with a battery and a motor thrown in. The device was good enough to completely block out the Nightly Business Report which Erik's dad was watching.

Unfortunately, a radar controller at S.A.C. also noticed this jammer in operation and promtly sent a division of light infantry to retrieve it from young Erik's budding signal dynamicist hands. And so ended Erik's electronic warfare days before the tender age of 7.

The next year, Erik would switch to North Star Elementry School and learn that placing 1500 kids in a building with no walls was not such a bright district idea. Fortunetly for them, the idiot who made that choice was sitting in a sound proof office in a quiet building that held no students and was located all the way across town. This home of the stupid was and still is called 807. Through further research Erik would determin that 807 is the center of all things stupid. In fact they recommended to the Regan Administration that Ketchup should be reclassified as a vegatable and that inhailed and ingested chalk dust counts as a major source of dietary calcium. They also believed that by adding minerals to the paste in k-3 schools they could give the students there RDA of 7 nutrients. This program continued even after paste was removed and substituted with off brand white glue. The vapors fromt the glue contained the same chemicals that 807 was trying to get into the student body anyway, plus some bonus elements like Lead, Uranium, Radon, and Mercury.

Junior High Fools

Erik entered Franklin Junior High School with mixed feelings. Having been in the highest grade at Willard for 3 years running, the idea of older students frightened him. What he didn't know what how much he frightened older students. Quick of hack and clever in implementation, the fear of Erik was so complete that many students failed a year just so that they would not be the first target of Erik's rage. Fortune shinned on this large group of students as Erik's first target was not the 8th graders, but in fact the administration. This group of individuals (space aliens?) believed that "Lunch is a privledge and not a right." but that though some distortion of time and space that we could actually eat our lunches in 5 minutes. The consequences of spending more time were to have the food ripped from your mouth by one of the dim witted thugs that the district hired know as hall monitors.

Completing the 8th grade at Franklin Junior High and leaving many easter eggs in their computer system, Erik went on to enter the Summatech Magnet at Minneapolis North High School.

And so are story comes to a close. What will happen to Erik? Does he make it to CalTech? Will he survive the infamous Ph 1a? Is he doomed to fail the writing requirement and be put into an english class below that of "English as a Second Language" Stay tuned. Same web site, same web URL.


Erik Streed streed@geom.umn.edu