The ghost of a shadow is man, no more...


I was born in the maternity ward of El Reno Federal Penitentiary on Christmas Day 1963. After being branded, I was sent to the Benedictine Abbey of St. Peter and St. Paul, where I labored in the fields and learned the calculus under the stern guidance of the holy fathers as penance for impure thoughts. I later escaped to Brazil, where I met and fell in love with Miss Wyoming 1985. She helped me mend my drunken, lawless ways, and in 1991, I received a Ph.D. in mathematics from the University of Maryland. It all makes sense now. Ahhhh. Satisfaction.


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