Top Ten Reasons Why God Never Received Tenure

(Based on a column in Ann Landers)
  1. He never got a PhD
  2. He had only one major publication.
  3. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.
  4. Some doubt that he wrote it himself.
  5. Sure, he created the world, but what has he done since?
  6. The scientific community can't replicate his results.
  7. He rarely came to class and just tells students, "Read the book."
  8. His office hours are irregular and sometimes held on a mountaintop.
  9. He doesn't present at conferences.
  10. He spent too much time teaching and not enough time doing research.

Frederick J. Wicklin <>
Last modified: Mon Apr 17 11:15:34 1995